Why You Keep Avoiding Everything (even though you care) - By Taha Tariq

 There’s this weird cycle a lot of us fall into. You know there’s stuff you need to do. It matters to you. You’ve thought about it like 10 times. But when it comes to actually doing it… you just don’t. You push it off. Open your phone. Walk away. Think “I’ll do it later in 5 mins.” Then you feel bad about it and avoid it even more.

You’re not lazy but overwhelmed and your brain is trying to protect you in the only way it knows how: by pulling you away from whatever feels stressful. Avoidance isn’t really about not caring. It actually happens when you care a lot. You care so much that it feels risky to mess up or even stressful to start, so you don’t. When everything already feels heavy even small tasks can feel like a mountain.

Instead of diving in, your mind chooses comfort. You might scroll, clean your room, rewatch something you've already seen, or just lie still thinking about how you're not doing what you need to. That doesn't mean you're not capable. It just means you're mentally tired, and your brain is looking for relief. 

Try a different approach. Start by noticing what you're feeling instead of fighting it. You could say to yourself, “This feels like a lot right now, but I’ll just take one small step.” That helps lower the pressure. Break the task down into the tiniest action. If you need to write an essay, don’t plan the whole outline. Just open the document. That alone is progress. You can also set a short timer. Just work on the task for two minutes. Once you begin, it often gets easier to continue. Even if it doesn’t, you still started, and that’s worth something. It helps more than you think. Another helpful trick is to talk to yourself like a friend would. You wouldn’t call a friend lazy for needing a break. You’d probably tell them, “It’s okay, take it slow.” So give yourself that same energy. Forgive yourself for yesterday and focus on what you can do today.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that procrastination is often tied to emotional stress, not laziness. The more overwhelmed someone feels, the more likely they are to avoid tasks, especially ones that feel personal or have high-stakes (APA, 2023). That’s why pushing yourself with guilt or pressure usually backfires. What actually helps though is being patient. Try small, doable steps. Give yourself time. Keep showing up, even if it's imperfect. You’ll start to notice that things feel a little easier when the pressure drops.

You’re not alone if it feels like everything is too much sometimes. You're also not weak just because you take longer to get started. There’s no perfect timeline. Just progress. Even slow progress is still progress.

The Summary? Start messy. Start even if you're unsure. But at least just start. The fact that you care means you're trying, and that means you're already on the way.


Works Cited

American Psychological Association. “The Science Behind Procrastination.”, Feb. 2023.

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