Why “I’ll Be Happy When..” Is A Trap -by Taha Tariq

 We all say it. “I’ll be happy when I finally get that GPA.” “I’ll be happy when I get into that one college.” “When I make more money. When I get that internship. When I finally move out.” And don’t get me wrong It does sound logical- as if happiness is a checkpoint you unlock after hitting the right combo of achievements. But here’s the catch: once we hit the goal, we rarely stop to take it all in or be appreciative and grateful that we did it. We just raise the bar again. The finish line moves. And we’re left running a race that never really ends.

This is what psychologists call the arrival fallacy - the belief that happiness arrives when you achieve something. The problem? That feeling of fulfillment we think is waiting for us at the end of the road often doesn’t show up the way we expect. According to Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, a positive psychology expert who taught one of Harvard’s most popular courses, many people become emotionally flat or even depressed after reaching major milestones because the goal they’ve obsessed over ends up being empty without deeper meaning tied to it (Ben-Shahar). The achievement alone doesn’t magically fill the gaps we carry with us.

And the real issue with “I’ll be happy when…” is that it teaches us to delay joy. To put off peace. To treat contentment as a reward instead of a right. And over time, it wires our brains to always chase the next thing, robbing us of the ability to appreciate where we are right now. That mindset might push productivity, sure, but it often kills peace and self appreciation.

We see this play out in school all the time. One exam ends, and the next thing you know, you’re stressing about the next one. You crush an extracurricular, and boom - your mind is already spinning about whether it’s “enough” for college apps. If you're not careful, life becomes one long to do list where joy is always postponed.

But what if you didn’t need to wait? What if you could feel happy even in the middle of uncertainty? Research in the Journal of Positive Psychology shows that people who focus more on cultivating gratitude and meaning in the present actually report higher life satisfaction than those who rely on future achievements for happiness (Schmuck). It doesn’t mean you give up on ambition - it just means you don’t tie your emotional well being to something you haven’t even reached yet.

You’re allowed to be driven and still enjoy where you are. You're allowed to want more while still being proud of what you’ve done. The trick is learning to hold both. Next time you catch yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when…” try flipping it. Try, “I can be happy now and work toward what I want.” That mindset shift might just save you from a lifetime of running after happiness delusions.


Works Cited
Ben-Shahar, Tal. Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment. McGraw-Hill, 2007.

Schmuck, Peter. "Happiness Through Goal Attainment or Daily Gratitude? A Comparative Study of Future- vs. Present-Focused Happiness." Journal of Positive Psychology, vol. 16, no. 5, 2021, pg. 560–572.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Moving Your Body Boosts Your Brain and Mood -by Taha Tariq

  Physical movement isn’t just about looking good or staying fit - it actually plays a huge role in how your brain works and how you feel every day. When you move, your body releases chemicals called endorphins that act like natural mood lifters. These chemicals can help reduce stress, ease anxiety, and give you a little boost of happiness. Even a short walk around the block or dancing to your favorite song in your room can clear your mind and make you feel better. The science backs this up. Studies show that regular exercise can lower symptoms of anxiety and depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, just 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days can make a big difference in your mental health (Mayo Clinic Staff). This doesn’t mean you have to run marathons or hit the gym every day. Simple activities like stretching, going for a bike ride, or just walking your dog can help your brain produce serotonin and dopamine - the chemicals that make you feel calm and happy. What’s cool is th...
Read more

ReachEquilibria: A Nonprofit Organization With a Story Behind It

Image
  On July 20th, ReachEquilibria hosted their first ever bake sale at the Coppell Farmers Market. The bake sale was intended to raise money for the organizations mission to spread mental health awareness. This money would be donated to local clinics and hospitals and used to buy materials for care packages to send out to those in need of support. The stand was lined up with various different brownies, cakes, pastries, and cookies to be sold. The bake sale started at 8 AM and went through 12 PM on that Saturday.  From my personal experience, I started at 8 AM and was the early “shift” for the group. I was first nervous because of how it took quite a bit to get our first sale. Fortunately, that nervousness was quickly erased as people started coming by and learning about the ReachEquilibria cause. In my first hour there, the stand sold over $50 dollars worth of goods. This included a very generous donation by a lovely woman and her husband of $40 .  I left after the first h...
Read more

When You Just Want To Disappear For A Bit (But Don’t Know Why) - Taha Tariq

Image
Ever felt like disappearing for a while? Not in a dramatic way. Just like... turning your phone off, ignoring everyone, and hiding under a blanket for a day or two? Yeah. That feeling? It’s real and way more common than people talk about. Sometimes life gets loud. Not just with noise, but with expectations. Texts to answer. Assignments due. People asking for energy you don’t even have. You're trying to keep up, but your mind’s just running in the background like, “Yeah man I’m not tryna work, gimme a break.” It doesn’t mean you’re lazy, weak, or antisocial. It just means you’re overstimulated and undersupported. You're not failing, you're fried. This kind of mental overload can sneak up on anyone, no matter how strong you feel or are. If you still didn’t get it: Your Brain Wants a Break -Not an Exit That “disappearing” urge? It’s your brain waving a white flag just like in the cartoons. It’s not about escaping forever. It’s about finally getting to let out a deep exhale. We...
Read more