The Pressure To Always Be Positive -by Taha Tariq

 We’ve all heard it before “Just stay positive.” “Look on the bright side.” “Good vibes only.” It’s repeated so often that it feels like a motto- basically something you’re always supposed to live by. But what if you’re having a bad day? What if you’re anxious for no clear reason, or just mentally and emotionally tired? That whole mindset of “just be happy” starts to feel fake. You start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you for not smiling through everything. That’s when toxic positivity sneaks in - and it does way more harm than good.

Toxic positivity is basically when people ignore or downplay difficult emotions by forcing a positive outlook, no matter the situation. It’s not the same as healthy optimism. It’s more like emotional downplay dressed up with a smile. It turns “feeling sad” into “you’re being really dramatic.” It turns “I’m overwhelmed” into “just focus on the good.” And while it might seem harmless, it slowly teaches us that negative emotions are something to be ashamed of.

The problem is, we end up internalizing and regularizing that. We tell ourselves to be grateful, even when we feel completely off. We convince ourselves that we shouldn’t complain because “others have it worse.” But emotions aren’t a competition. Someone else hurting doesn’t mean you don’t get to hurt. You can be grateful and struggling. You can have blessings in your life and still feel sad sometimes. They’re not opposites - they’re just real parts of being human.

And let’s be honest, social media doesn’t help. Everyone’s posting highlight reels - all the good days, the clean aesthetics, the achievements, the success. It’s easy to forget that everyone has low moments too, even if they don’t post them. That creates pressure to keep up a positive front, and that pressure turns into emotional exhaustion.

According to Dr. Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard and author of Emotional Agility, when we constantly reject our difficult emotions, we actually cause more harm than good. She says that emotions are data - not directions. They give us insight into what matters to us, what we need, and what’s off balance (David). If we skip that step and jump straight to “I’m fine,” we miss the chance to actually heal.

So no - you don’t need to slap a smile on everything. It’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. That honesty is strength, not weakness. You don’t grow by pretending everything is fine. You grow by giving yourself space to feel things honestly and move through them, not around them.

So, the next time you feel pressure to just stay positive, pause. Ask yourself what you really need in that moment. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s a real conversation. Maybe it’s just space to be. Whatever it is, let it be real - not forced. You deserve that.


Works Cited
David, Susan. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Avery, 2016.

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